New Year – New resolutions? Considering Weight Loss Surgery? Here are some thoughts…

I thought I would put down a sort of bullet list of things on my mind that I tell people who are having (or have just had) this surgery.  I seem to be seeing more and more people who are in need of this info so here you are:

• If you think you will be that *ONE* person that this will not work for, think again.  I thought it.  I was sure I would lose a little bit of weight and then stop like was true with everything else that I tried.  This surgery allows you the ability to lose it this time and there is no way you can stop it from happening.
• This bring me to my TOOL speech.  When the Doctor goes in there and moves your insides around he is NOT giving you a crutch to use for the rest of your life.  He is giving you a TOOL.  You have to work with this tool, respect to tool, use the tool the right way.  You do what the Doctor tells you – and you do this for the    rest.of.your.life.   Follow the rules.  Like the Capri Sun commercial says “Respect the pouch!!”
• You will have pain after surgery.  Everyone is different in how they handle pain and the kind of pain they have.  You may have a little or a lot.  Either way you are given something to take the pain away – use it.  Don’t be a hero.  Don’t be afraid of sleep.  Take the pain meds, rest, eat and drink like you are told, rest, rest, and rest and you will heal a lot better.
• Eat by the clock.  You will not be hungry in the beginning.  You will not feel hunger – real hunger- for a very long time.  You will crave things and be “head hungry” on and off, but you will not have the hunger in your stomach for a long time.  You need to eat about every 3 hours to keep your metabolism up and your strength up.  And watch the clock while you eat.  You should eat very very slowly and eat for about 20 minutes and then stop.
• Make sure to do your walking.  This keeps things moving, improves your stamina, and makes you feel better.
• When you are given the go ahead be sure to take your vitamins.  All of them, everyday, don’t miss a dose or a day.  Get a pill box to put some in to take with you in case you are out for a long time.
• You WILL have hair loss.  This is mostly from the shock your body is in.  It also has to do with vitamin levels being low, but for the most part it is your body trying to cope.  You will NOT go bald.  You will think you are going bald, but you won’t.  And it will stop eventually.  Have patience.
• The most important part of this surgery other than following what you are taught is SUPPORT.  If you do not have a support group to attend once a month then you need to find one.  You do not have to go to your hospital for support- any will do.  But you need to go.  You also need to surround yourself with people who will support you.  I told people I was not asking for their permission but for their support so if they could not give me that I did not need to hear from them.  I did not want to hear “stories” and I would not listen.  If you pay attention, the vast majority of people who have heard stories of people having problems do not actually KNOW the people- it is just “stories”  And really, who cares!  You know you will do what the Doctor says so why worry about what is going to happen?  The risk of this surgery FAR outweighs the risks that you will have for being overweight for the rest of your life.  And the risk is low.  You may as well weigh your risk of getting hit by a bus vs something going wrong during surgery.  AND the majority of people with real issues afterwards are because they did not follow their Doctors orders the way they should have.  So- find a good support system and keep this system in place at all times.

A bad point about WLS

I have probably recently discovered the worst part of this WLS.  I started my weight loss journey at 255lbs.  I remember thinking I will be thrilled to get to 150lbs and wear a normal size, even if it is a large!  The end goal of 130 I had in my mind, but I never thought I would see it.  Well, the problem is, for most people who go through the WLS process and follow it the right way, not only is their goal achieved but it is usually surpassed.  So, as I watched 130 pounds come and go on the scale, as you can imagine I was thrilled.  I got all the way down to 121 pounds.  Wow!  If I could do that I was hoping to be able to see the “teens”  but I never managed to get to the teens.  I was going to Zumba a few times a week, jogging on nice days, using my Wii Fit that Brian got me for Christmas, doing weights on my balance ball, I was doing one thing or another for a very long time.  Then I started getting all these painful “attacks” that I thought each time I had a stomach bug.  Well, it turned out it was not a bug but I had some problems that needed surgically corrected.  But, anyhow, once I started having all this pain I did not and could not work out like I used to.  I have been eating a lot less because it hurt so much to eat.  So, I think both of these happenings sent my body into the mode of preserving everything I did take in.  I went up to 131.  Yes- it is almost 20 pounds less than the original goal and only 1 pound more than my ultimate goal, however, because I ended up going down so low, I got used to it.  I was happy to be so small no matter how I was told by a few that I looked.  I knew that being that low would give me a few pounds to play with…but not 10!!  So, being 131 and putting on shorts that are a little snug now, because last year I was in the low 120′s all summer makes me feel like I am 250 pounds again.  It is the worst part!!  I am starting a weight loss challenge with the people I work with, so that and my latest surgery healing up (soon I hope!!) to allow me to get back to feeling good and moving a lot more should get some of that 10 pounds off.  I WILL be happy to get 7 off….but 11 to 15 would be FANTASTIC!!  I am not going to let it go to where I MUST get 20 off again …or 40 …or 50!  I feel horrible enough now that 10 is all I need to kick my butt back in gear.  Funny, gaining 10 pounds I didn’t use to notice it, but now it is like I gained 25!  Funny how the body and the brain works!

Summer 2011 is here!!

Not officially or anything, but it is close enough.  This is “birthday weekend” and Jenna has already started the party.  Her bestie Sara is spending tonight, tomorrow we are going to a skating party where 8 of her other friends will be then 2 more will come home with us for a sleep-over, so 4 little giggly girls will be taking over my house!  Sunday is Father’s day and we have some dad festivities planned.  Wednesday is her actual birthday so I am leaving work at 2pm, picking her up, taking her to the Sugi-center for her pre-surgery tour then we will head to the Olive Garden for her birthday dinner!  Then comes Friday – her tonsils are coming out.  She has been having a lot of anxiety about it that I have been trying to control, but this morning I had her pre-op interview/history on the phone so now it has set in for me and I am nervous for her.  This is not our first rodeo with her, but the first time everything happened so fast and furious that we didn’t have much time to worry- we just had to go with the flow.  I know she will be OK and recoup won’t be awful for her, but it is just knowing they are taking my only baby into that room without me.  I am sure we will all come out the other side just fine – so long as I first make it past this weekend!

This is worth a repeat …

This is an older post but I have met more people who are newly out of surgery or early out of surgery.  Just the tips I have learned along the way and thought I would pass on again….edited a bit to add something!  ENJOY!

I thought I would put down a sort of bullet list of things on my mind that I tell people who are having (or have just had) this surgery.  I seem to be seeing more and more people who are in need of this info so here you are:

• If you think you will be that *ONE* person that this will not work for, think again.  I thought it.  I was sure I would lose a little bit of weight and then stop like was true with everything else that I tried.  This surgery allows you the ability to lose it this time and there is no way you can stop it from happening.
• This bring me to my TOOL speech.  When the Doctor goes in there and moves your insides around he is NOT giving you a crutch to use for the rest of your life.  He is giving you a TOOL.  You have to work with this tool, respect to tool, use the tool the right way.  You do what the Doctor tells you – and you do this for the    rest.of.your.life.   Follow the rules.  Like the Capri Sun commercial says “Respect the pouch!!”
• You will have pain after surgery.  Everyone is different in how they handle pain and the kind of pain they have.  You may have a little or a lot.  Either way you are given something to take the pain away – use it.  Don’t be a hero.  Don’t be afraid of sleep.  Take the pain meds, rest, eat and drink like you are told, rest, rest, and rest and you will heal a lot better.
• Eat by the clock.  You will not be hungry in the beginning.  You will not feel hunger – real hunger- for a very long time.  You will crave things and be “head hungry” on and off, but you will not have the hunger in your stomach for a long time.  You need to eat about every 3 hours to keep your metabolism up and your strength up.  And watch the clock while you eat.  You should eat very very slowly and eat for about 20 minutes and then stop.
• Make sure to do your walking.  This keeps things moving, improves your stamina, and makes you feel better.
• When you are given the go ahead be sure to take your vitamins.  All of them, everyday, don’t miss a dose or a day.  Get a pill box to put some in to take with you in case you are out for a long time.
• You WILL have hair loss.  This is mostly from the shock your body is in.  It also has to do with vitamin levels being low, but for the most part it is your body trying to cope.  You will NOT go bald.  You will think you are going bald, but you won’t.  And it will stop eventually.  Have patience.
• The most important part of this surgery other than following what you are taught is SUPPORT.  If you do not have a support group to attend once a month then you need to find one.  You do not have to go to your hospital for support- any will do.  But you need to go.  You also need to surround yourself with people who will support you.  I told people I was not asking for their permission but for their support so if they could not give me that I did not need to hear from them.  I did not want to hear “stories” and I would not listen.  If you pay attention, the vast majority of people who have heard stories of people having problems do not actually KNOW the people- it is just “stories”  And really, who cares!  You know you will do what the Doctor says so why worry about what is going to happen?  The risk of this surgery FAR outweighs the risks that you will have for being overweight for the rest of your life.  And the risk is low.  You may as well weigh your risk of getting hit by a bus vs something going wrong during surgery.  AND the majority of people with real issues afterwards are because they did not follow their Doctors orders the way they should have.  So- find a good support system and keep this system in place at all times.
• Last but not least.  When you are 18+ months out.  at or past your goal and you notice you gained a pound or two do not ignore it.  Of course weight fluctuates, however, I beg you to take inventory on what you are doing.  Did you add in some sweets?  And it went OK so now every day you have a sweet?  Did you eat bread too much? Did you forget to eat your protein first?  Are you drinking your calories now?  Look at what you are doing.  If you are still acting like you did when you were 3 months out you are doing fine.  If old habits have started to creep back up on you- nip it NOW!!  You will thank yourself in the long run.

5k results – November 7, 2010

Brian and I did our first, but not our last, 5k on November 7th.  It was very cold but we warmed up once we got started.  It was in Oley and on a very hilly path.  We knew going in we were going to mostly walk, which we did.  I did start to try to run but from climbing the hill my legs were a little crampy so I just walked.  When we got back to the road to head back to the start of the course we decided to stop and wait for the people running the 10 mile race until our friend came by. Once she ran by we continued on our way.  I did not know we were supposed to give in the bottom of our number so I did not do that until quite a while passed.  I am sure when I saw the time on the results they posted they just guessed on our time.  No surprise at all, but we were the last two, which is fine as I knew our goal was to finish – which we did!  We decided we will try to train for the next year and actually run it next year.  And again, if we are the last two that is fine, at least we will finish.  But, in the Spring I will see if there are some walks, maybe fundraisers, that we can do while we are training.  It felt good and it is nice to have a shirt to show off our accomplishment also!  I know I will never be a true runner.  For one thing I am not fast enough.  I also just simply do not enjoy it enough to be a serious runner, but I did very much enjoy the nice long walk!  I will search once the weather breaks in the late winter/early spring for walks to do!  It will be our new hobby!

Changing your mind set (and others!) before WLS and after

There are still people out there who think that WLS is “the easy way out”  or “she was too lazy to lose weight so she had surgery”  I am here to set that line of thinking straight.  There is no one who can be lazy and get through WLS or be a lifelong success!  Much the contrary!  You have to be a strong person, mind, body and will!  You have to dig deep, get to the root of your weight problems and accept that food is not your friend.  You have to accept food is here to keep you alive.  You have to accept that you give up pure sugars, high fats and bad carbs.  You have to accept that you are a new person.  I have not lost the feeling of just having the surgery.  I still think like I am newly out of surgery and eat several times a day and very small portions.  I exercise even though I have always loathed it.  I do not loathe it because I am lazy!  I also have Fibromyalgia so I am in pain a lot…exercise does not make it better.  When I have the extra energy I take full advantage of that!  I don’t stop!  I also do little things like never look for close parking spots…I always park farther out.  Just little things help.  I don’t look at distance and think “ugh!”  I loved walking when we were on vacation from the Main street where the bus dropped us, over 3 blocks and about 20 blocks up and down the Boardwalk.  It is a life change and you have to know that before you even see a Doctor or start  a program.  Don’t think about asking about different surgeries because of foods you CAN eat with the different surgeries.  If you have a sweet problem and you want to Lapband just so you can keep eating sweets then having surgery is NOT for you yet.  You have to be prepared to change your mind about every point in your life.  How you look at yourself (you will be thin and may not see it).  How you shop (what the heck is the misses section?  LOL)  How you eat and prepare foods.  How you order when you go out.  Asking questions about how things are cooked when you do go out if you have fear about it.  Getting your family on board and having a staunch support system around you.  Prepare yourself to take your vitamins, drink you water, exercise, shop right, see your doctors and caregivers, get therapy if you need it, attend regular support groups forever, support others, be an inspiration – because helping others also helps yourself.  Learning to tell others you do not want to hear from them if they are not supportive.  I used a line before surgery and told others “I am not asking your permission I am asking for your support.  If you cannot give me support I will not discuss this with you because I will not hear ‘horror stories’ about people you actually do not know”  Almost no one can actually tell you of someone they actually KNOW who had issues and IF they do you can be almost certain the person who did not succeed did not follow the program correctly.

Questions welcome!

I jogged!

Today I went for a jog, not inside on my trampoline, but out in the open where people could have seen.  I went to take care of my God-daughter while they were cleaning out the flooded basement.  We walked up the road and into the Grove.  No one was in the entire place, which is way back off the road sort of in the woods, so I was a little freaked out.  Once we got up the one side, which is uphill, I decided to jog down the other side.  She is in a jogging type stroller so it was not too bad.  Autumn was chattering and giggling the whole time.  When I got out to the road I stopped and just walked but picked back up to a slow job a couple times when no cars were coming.  I went back to the house and took 3 advil and joked I needed Advil and CPR!  I plan to go out again tomorrow for a little bit, hopefully can add a few steps!

Perception and how it changes

Do you know what I realized last night?  It is all in our perception of things and everyone is going to be different.  I went to Weight Loss Support Group and a couple stood up to speak.  They are both about 2 years out of surgery and met in the support group 2 years ago- just became a couple this summer.  The man weighed over 500lbs and now weighs about 275 and the woman started out at 380 and now weighs 220.  She is still working on losing and i am not sure what his goal is, but he will need some plastics for sure!  Anyhow, when they were talking they talked about all the things they can do now:  Sit in a booth, walk through a turnstile without trouble, buy smaller clothes, shoes, hats, belts, etc.  But, when anyone who does not know them or their story looks at them they have to think they are an overweight couple.  But, they do not.  They feel wonderful about themselves and know how far they have come.

Perception of the whole world ends up different.  There were times I would get a meal and wonder “is that all” or know I would not have leftover to take home.  Now Brian and I usually split a meal or we order something that is able to be reheated to take home.  We look at plates of food that come to us and say “yikes! how can we eat that” Or if we have ordered our own meal we wonder out loud why we did not decide to share.  The only thing we are unable to share is a steak because we both like them prepared so different.  I don’t like my meat to Moo back at me!

Booths in restaurants look bigger and we find ourselves trying to move the seat or the table closer to us instead of far away because it is so far away now. I no longer look around a room to see if anyone is bigger than me.  I don’t care anymore who is in the room or what they look like.  The only reason I cared before was because I felt like I stuck out for being the biggest/roundest.  Now, sometimes if I am in a room of people who know me but some have not seen me I feel a little self conscious because they keep looking at me.  I know I am shocking to look at now.  People stare and then tell me they just can’t believe it.  I don’t mind. I try not to be bothered by it, but it just confirms for me how bad I was before.  I have sort of become used to being the center of attention and I am trying to convince myself to learn to like it. I do things that scare me a little (like public speaking) to try to get myself over my past.

I look at pictures when I was 4 months post op and had already lost about 60 pounds.  I thought I looked fantastic.  I did not look heavy to myself at all.  I pull that picture out now though and think how big I was.  I look at pictures of my birthday weekend trip to the beach last year that we have on the wall and remember how good I felt then.  I thought I was looking great!  It was my perception from how big I was.  Now I think – yikes!  I was still so big!  (I was about 170 ish then)

Now, at 125 pounds lost and wearing a size 4 jeans I can’t help but still feel my old self.  I look in the mirror and all I can find is the flaws.  So, why do I remember feeling so good 50lbs ago and now I don’t feel as good about myself?  I suppose it is my perception that still being heavy at 170 was so much better than being 255lbs. But, now being a normal 125lbs, is so unreal to me and a goal I just never believed I could get to and stay at that my brain cannot wrap around the fact that I am there.  I am done.  I am thin.  I am healthy.  I have stamina.  I don’t get sick as much.  I don’t feel like the pink elephant in the room that everyone is looking at while trying to avoid all at the same time.  I have more courage.  I want to encourage others and be there for others so they can understand what the next year will bring for them.  I speak at support groups when others have questions about something and crave an answer from someone who has been there. I needed someone like me when I was just starting.

I volunteered to be a patient advocate last night.  I have to go through all the steps to be officially declared a hospital volunteer then I can work with patients who have just had surgery.  Since I don’t have the means to go back to school to do this officially (or the many years it would take!!)  this is the next best thing.  I can use the experiences to bring back here to share also.  And I can lead people here to read and maybe they will find what they are feeling and experiencing is normal.

In the meantime, I still work on myself all the time.  I tell myself I do look good (minus the loose skin) and I am so much better in so many ways.  I have a whole new outlook on life.  I HAVE changed.  And no matter how many times I say to people “I have not changed at all”  I know that I have.  I have not changed WHO I am!  I am still me.  I still love everyone I did before.  I am still a natural helper.  I still cry at commercials. I still love sappy movies.  I am still a good friend!  But, I have changed for the better in my health and well being.  I have changed how I eat and how I look at food and my relationship with it.  Basically, we broke up.  I use it to live only – except for the occasional treat, which is NOTHING like a “treat” used to be!  I can sit and ask myself if I am actually needing nourishment or if I am just looking for something to do.  I can stop myself from bad choices.  I have changed in that I stand in the fridge with it open saying “Do I want a salad or some fruit for a snack”  Instead of chocolate or vanilla ice cream or a brownie.  My brain is disconnected from food bringing me any comfort, joy  or help.  I can do that on my own now.  I can go to one of my many support systems in place instead.  It’s all in the perception of how you want to live life now.

People with foot in mouth disease (or shut up stupid!!)

Something happened to a friend of mine this week that set me off. She wanted to join a weight loss group and was told she could not join because she was “cheating”  Are you freakin kidding me?!?!?  If you do not know what the hell you are talking about then SHUT UP STUPID and do not speak!!!

How is she cheating you ask?  She had gastric bypass surgery so now this person labeled her as a cheater.  Anyone who has had this surgery or is close to someone who has had it can tell you that no one chooses to have this surgery to cheat.  No one is too lazy to lose weight so they just throw up their arms and say “well hell, I will just do the easy thing and have surgery!”  Easy??  If anyone EVER says you took the “easy way out” so me a favor and pop them square in the mouth.  Would you tell a cancer patient who is getting chemo that they just “cheated” the cancer by having chemo and took the easy way out of it.  What about a heart surgery patient?  Well, you cheated by getting open heart surgery to fix your life threatening problem.  Makes no sense does it??  Same way telling someone gastric bypass surgery is easy or cheating.  It is a last resort for everyone and a life saving procedure for many many people.

Easy—if you call liquid diets, 6 months to 3 years of preparations, doctor appointments, lab tests over and over, sleep studies, group meetings, nutritionist meetings, insurance calls and paperwork, getting your insides completely re-worked and never having another “normal” day of eating the rest of your life easy, then by all means–you go right ahead and keep up that closed minded way of thinking.  Maybe this is why YOU are in a weight loss group and bitch and moan that you cannot lose weight, because your mind is so closed you cannot realize that your way of thinking has to change and everything you do from now on for the REST.OF.YOUR.LIFE.  has to change also.

You have to attend a lifetime of support groups.  You have to see a Doctor several times a year and then at least once a year for the rest of your life. You have to have bloodwork every single year-if not more often.  You have to learn which vitamins to take, how many, which are the best for you and what you need and you have to do it for -say it with me – the rest of your life.  You will learn the protein content of every food ever grown or produced.  You will know how much sugar is in every thing you lay your eyes on.  You will learn if an egg makes you throw up and feel like hell and how much out of a small cup of yogurt you can actually eat until you have to stop.  You will make sure you have a snack on you at all times in case you get stuck somewhere and cannot eat within 3-4 hours.  You will learn how to get in water and hydration every single day of your life to keep you healthy.  You will re-learn how to shop for clothes, shows and undergarments because you have no idea what sizes with one digit in them even mean or where to find them.  You will figure out which restaurants you simply will never eat at again because they have nothing healthy on the menu and they use to many secret additives to their foods which make you ill.  You learn what it means to actually live your life instead of watching other people live it while you sit out watching them.

Now- go back and think again about what you are saying to people and how it makes them feel.  Think before you speak or SHUT UP!

Dear Kid saturday

My friend, Beth over at http://www.theangelforever.com/ always posts a Dear Kid Saturday post as started at http://www.cutestkidever.org.  I would totally do a button for the latter if I can figure out how!  Anyhow, I would like to start partaking in this ritual to keep some memories alive!!

Dear Jenna,

This past Monday you started second grade.  I don’t know how you managed to turn 7 years old this summer already, but you did!  I keep asking you to slow down and I know you would if you could to stay small enough to curl up in my lap all the time.  I love our night time cuddles on my pillow so we can talk about your day.  I love even more how you miss it if it looks like I am not going to do it that night.

This Tuesday, one day into school, you promptly got sick!  For days (until Saturday) you ran a pretty high fever (going up to 104.8 more than once) and had a bit of a sore throat.  After two trips to the Doctor I was assured it was just a virus.  It was a stressful week for you as well as for Mama since I was so worried about you.

Now that you are feeling better we have plans to enjoy the rest of the Holiday weekend.  Tomorrow is going to be a picnic at Nana’s house for the Labor Day holiday.  We will then come home, have a bath, decide on lunches for the week, make sure your back pack and clothes are ready for Tuesday because we will be busy on Monday.  As we have been trying to do all summer, we are heading to Dorney Park.  We were going on Thursday but your illness stopped our plans.  We will arrive soon after they open at 10am and we will try to leave by 5:00 so we can get home and washed up and ready for bed for a 4 day school week.  I am so happy we get to take you because if there is any place in the world that you get the most out of a trip it is a place with rides.  I call you my “wild woman” because the higher, faster and crazier the ride the more you love it.  I don’t know where you get the thrill seeker from.  It is not from mama, that is for sure.  I am glad so much about life does not scare you and that you take life by the horns and ride it with all your might.  I pray that you live the rest of your life in such a way so you never have regrets.

Jenna Bee, I love you more than you can know.

Love, Mama